Matsu!!! I am back...from school and drill...hehehe...XD I lately fell in love with the song:decode by paramore...hehehe... :D Okay...now for serious stuff...past few days I have actually been thinking... Thinking that what is my purpose for living...yup....that is the main point... It seems that my exsistence is like air to some of my "friends"... Sometimes I wonder if they are really friends...I not saying those whom I always hang out with But is those whom I made during the camps...the himalaya trip...the normal school day life... Whenever I wave hi to them...they actually don't response and walked pass me like I am a ghost... Or am I that a boring person that they will forget about me and not take notice of me... Whatever I want to say deep down in my heart is always bottled up... I wonder if those popular ppl ever had this feeling before...those feeling of being left alone... The feeling of never being once there,,,I just don't feel that I am actually a living person... My whole life screwed up...not even a single thing where I can confide and be proud of... Today I somehow looked at someone and felt this feeling of being left alone... Even though it wasn't me but I felt a sudden loneliness...so sad...so pain... I felt like I can't breathe...so sad...I felt like crying...why is it that ppl are able to leave their own kin alone... Suffering...don't they feel the pain too? Why?